imagesI842WK8SI hold myself in that delicious state between sleep and wakefulness.  With eyes still closed I look around the room.  I need no sight to see the silhouettes of familiar furniture, expectant and soulless.

I grow aware of the sensation of deep relaxation spread throughout my body, which shortly will flee as the tensions of the day begin.  I do not need to open my eyes to sense the light, stealing, even now, around the edges of the blackout blinds to draw me from sleep. Should I choose, I can remain in the half stage between the worlds of reality and conjecture for a little longer yet. Gradually I turn to acknowledge the coming morning.New Forest

This is the place where my choices are made.  Here I have the luxury of reaching into my soul to consider what truly matters to me.  But today there is no avoiding a decision.  I must determine which path to take.  So yet again I face the oldest question known to man: which of two enticing females will I choose?  For of two, there can be only one. The choice of one necessarily entails the rejection of the other: she with whom I have sojourned for so very long or she who now entices my being with her beauty?  And as I ponder the age-old question I grow aware the outcome was always known.

For this reason alone that I cast back the bedding and rise to meet the coming day.

In silence I prepare myself. A cunning thief hell bent upon the disruption of complacency, I steal away from my home of history. With regret, I realise that she who has mean so very much to me for so very long is now without consequence.  And should I admire in myself the capability to dismiss the dedication of decades?  Or should I allow the moral catastrophe of illicit love to overwhelm me?

heart burningRegrettably, there is no contest.  I am a man possessed, possessed with the burden of passion.  And the beat of my heart drowns out the voice of rationality that would so insistently demand a measured, considered and … sensible… yes, sensible decision from me –the decision to stay.

Silently now, so as to preserve the equilibrium of ordered existence a little longer, I exit, stage right.images7DXNU6B0


To be continued…

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