She hasn’t come back yet. I think I might have upset her. I’m sure she’ll get over it. But for now I’ll have to carry on talking to all you cybermen on my own. And cyberwomen. I didn’t mean to be sexist. But then again, can you actually get Cyberwomen? It must be a bit lonely being a cyberman if there are no cyberwomen. And if cybermen can’t get together with cyberwomen then where do…
“STOP!” She said. “I can’t stand it.”
“Huh?” I answered.
“I can’t stand it,” she said. “Are you completely and utterly bonkers?” she asked.
I looked at her sheepishly. “My Primary school report for 1962 said I showed promise,” I answered. Would you like me to post a copy of it here?” I asked giving her a broad enthusiastic smile and nodding at her.
“Not on your Nellie,” she said, humourlessly. “It is now perfectly obvious to me and all the people out there that you don’t have the first idea of how serious a matter blogging is, or how much effort it takes to do it properly. I can see I’m going to have to teach you everything from the beginning up. Baby steps. We’ll have to take baby steps.
Like this you mean?” I asked, trying to get back in her good books.
“Don’t even think about posting that,” she said.
How about this, then?” I asked. “You said people like fluffy ducks and cutesy kittens.”
She glared at me with her clenched fists on her hips, her wing tips bristling.
“Are you going to be serious about this or not?” she demanded. I could see she meant it. I thought better of making any comment about cyberducks and cyberkittens. “Because if you’re not,” she continued, “I’m going to demand immediate reassignment by the Department to someone who takes their writing seriously.”
I knew she was bluffing. There was no chance of a reassignment for her yet. I’ve got the contract right here. Clause 47 (b) (iii) is quite specific. The assignment is for a minimum of 50 posts. I’ll sue if she deserts me before that and she knows it. I have to admit, though, there’s no question but that I need her. And to be honest, I need her goodwill, too. So I hung my head in shame, playing the part so to speak.. “I’m very sorry, I said.” Tell me what to do to make it right.”
If you’re quite ready to continue,” she answered, still a little haughtily, I suggest you cut to a meaningful quote immediately, since we’re rather lost our way here.”
I thought for a minute. “Will this one do?” I asked.