Have you ever thought how posh is The gnat in his galoshes? Then remember how much dosh is represented when he sloshes Through the snow. And consider how much tosh is Often spoken of galoshes when the gnat sits down and noshes and when he –  oh my gosh! Is that the time? Then I […]

I once did espy From the side of my eye A little black fly As he flew through the sky And that poor little fly Had a sty in his eye.   “Would you like me to try,” I said to the fly, “To put balm on that sty At the edge of your eye? […]

  Bull went into the shopping mall, His Christmas presents to buy A clock for Aunt Maude, A teapot for Claude And a kite for his nephew to fly.   But Albert the sheep With considerable cheek (But on Bull, well, he always relies) Had asked for a comb and some hair gel and foam […]

I want to die. I have lived beyond my time. I am so very tired of being the gatekeeper to happiness for so many hapless innocents. Are you shocked to hear me say I want to die? Then remember I have faced death so many times, stared it down on occasions beyond number, fighting alongside […]

Christmas Day 3.57pm   Marylebone Station is looking post-apocalyptic. No one around; the wind whipping sheets of newspaper and drink cartons in and out of the corners. Even the junkies and the winos are sleeping somewhere better than this. I can hardly blame them, with the snow falling steadily since before noon. God only knows […]

He is sitting in a small study, facing a window that stares out over terracotta rooftops to the foliage beyond, which even now is sliding into the chaotic dilapidation of autumn. Lost, somewhere amongst the unmapped mountain ranges of his mind, occasionally he stumbles on a single thought that stirs a tremor, that starts a […]

“Where have you been?” she asked. “Singing Dragonsong,” I answered. She scowled as only a fairy can. “I’m not going to dignify that with a response,” she said. “Besides, I’ve been meaning to ask you, have you had any Spam?” “What for breakfast?” I asked, then added “I can’t say I’ve bought any at all […]

You take the pine dining suite; the chairs are rickety, almost gone. They are nearly as old as our love. We bought them the year our first child was born. I shall compensate myself with the sofa from the lounge – the one we bought twelve years ago, that time the roof fell in, destroying […]