Blog Post 94: Forest Rain

Forest Rain is published 1st February 2017. The following is the foreword of the book:It was in the Summer of the millennium year that I began to write from the heart. For almost twenty years I had written of profit and capital, material gain and strategies. But until that fateful year, I had not known what it was to bow my head to the calling of life contract and karma. The sun froze before my eyes, my carefully structured existence then petrified and crumbled to dust. I watched, incapable of acting to prevent it. I had nowhere to go then, but into the printed word. From that August onwards, I poured the substance of my energy onto the page.I wrote, even in those days, of spirituality, as I groped blindly in my own quest for understanding and the heart touches of the soul. Many of the pieces I created rose spontaneously from somewhere outside myself. There were times when all I needed to do was reach beyond the dilapidated boundaries of my soul into the grain fields of eternal lore, in order to harvest ears of shining revelation. I knew, even then, that what I wrote was not wholly my own work – not in the traditional sense, anyway. Sometimes, I would feel the presence of a muse opening up my awareness and urging me to express what he wanted to say. I originally named him Cogitatis (Latin for “you think”), and when he came to me, I would wait in excitement, holding my breath until he spoke. Then, my fingers would fly across the keyboard, as I articulated and paraphrased the wisdom he initiated.It was not until December 2001, though, that I began to be aware of my calling. My quest for spiritual awareness had taken me to a small group of people that met just outside Southampton, UK. There, I met a psychic. When I spoke of my passion for writing, she called me aside, and asked if I wrote spiritually, for she had been told that this was my vocation and that I had an old soul working with me. Evidently, what I had felt concerning the muse was in some sense accurate. Fascinated, I took the psychic’s address and telephone number with a view to meeting her in order to discuss the matter more fully. I then promptly lost the details!I came close to drowning in the waves of turbulence that surrounded me that month. As I was thrown uncontrollably between a future I thought I wanted and one that I believed deep down to be inevitable, the pendulum of my reality oscillated faster and faster. It was more than my conscious mind could bear. Pushed beyond my limit, I took an intended fatal drug overdose on New Year’s Day 2002, and abandoned myself to whatever fate lay thereafter. At that point, it seemed to me that any possibility, from ceasing to exist to spending eternity in Hell was preferable to what I was experiencing at that moment.I was unconscious for six hours before they found me. By all medical rights, I should have died. I wondered long and deep as to what happened during those hours. Though I had no conscious recollection, something in me witnessed that there were significant events afoot; that I had negotiated at heaven’s gate and finally, accepted that I had to return, in order to see the pain through, and gain the learning necessary to this lifetime. The speed of my recovery bears witness to the uncommonness of the circumstances, for I was out of hospital two days later. It was not until June that I was to be granted an understanding of what had actually happened to me that day. A lot more had been at stake than I had realised.From that time forward, there commenced the most intense period of spiritual awareness and revelation that I have ever experienced in this lifetime. Six months on, at the time of writing, it continues unabated.Five days after the turn of the year, I was driving to visit a friend. During the journey, as my thoughts wandered, a phrase appeared in my mind without warning: “Feed my sheep.” I was confused, momentarily, not recalling its origin. Then, the memory rose from way back in my personal history. They were the words spoken by Jesus to Simon Peter after the betrayal.“Simon Peter, do you love me?”“Yes, Lord, you know that I am your friend.”“Feed my sheep”The exchange is repeated three times until finally, Peter acknowledges his love for Jesus. Peter is overcome with Jesus’ forgiveness and accepts in his heart his commission.I thought no more of this until I returned home that evening and was relating the story to a friend on the telephone. It was then, that the enormity of the revelation struck me – that I had just received my own commission. I knew at the speed of thought, in the way that we can only know something revealed to us in unadulterated illumination, that I had just received my vocation for the rest of this life; that I was to write in order to feed the sheep.Further confirmation followed. Two days later, I attended another group for the first time, “Hearts & Hands,” which met in the village of Burley in Hampshire, UK. There, during a meditation, I felt the presence of a spirit – an event to which I am assuredly not prone! I asked, “Who are you?” and was stunned beyond my means to express when the answer came back “Jesus.” I asked why I had not been permitted to come home on New Year’s Day. The answer was “Because I have work for you to do.” I had received the first confirmation of the calling.The matter did not rest there though. At the same meeting the Psychic who had first piqued my curiosity was present again. It was the only time she had ever attended that group. This time, I did not lose her address! Rather, I entered into a period of spiritual healing with her that was to last for four months. Gradually, the healer and my spirit guides channelled restorative energy into me, building up my reserves and returning me to health more rapidly than I would ever have conceived possible. During the healing sessions, a certain spirit began to appear to the healer in the form of an Aborigine. After one of the sessions, he spoke a message to me directly through her:“Many Learnings come from you. Lot of wisdom lie deep in you, coming to the surface. You had to go through the deepest depths, so that you could cope no more; so that you had that lifeline thrown to you and you grabbed it. Many people need to hear these learnings. When the rope comes down, it is like a ladder. You had to climb up because the work is so important; had to go down low to reach the steps and climb up the ladder, that you would never reach the depths ever again; proof to you that your work is very important.” I had received the second confirmation of the calling.As time passed, the Aborigine came to me more and more often, in due course revealing himself to me as the “muse” I had become aware of in the early days of my writing. He appeared to find the name Cogitatis highly amusing, and for some time would not disclose his real name to me. Clearly some spirit teachers have a sense of humour!On 5^th June 2002, my teacher revealed yet more to me of the importance of these writings or “Learnings” as he had termed them. He came to me during past life regression and showed me in detail what had transpired on 1^st January, the day of my intended death. Now, revealing his true name as Komar, while I was deep in trance, he took me back to the time when I fell asleep through the action of the drugs I had taken.Komar showed me he had been my teacher for a long, long time – through many lifetimes and beyond, whilst we worked towards a task of great importance together. The Learnings that we were writing together now, contained in this book and perhaps other books to follow, were too important to be delayed until I could incarnate again into another lifetime. They were needed now, and for this reason, if no other, I was not to end my life that day. Komar showed me that many people were awaiting the Learnings, both here and in the spirit world, for together, we were writing what he referred to as a “Life Book”. I am still not fully clear as to the meaning of the term.It was then that he showed me his own commitment to me and to the work, for I understood that he had entered into my body with me that day. He gave me to understand that over a period of some hours he combined his own energy with mine to prevent the absorption of the drugs into my bloodstream and the damaging of my organs that would have resulted. When the process was completed and he knew, I was safe, he communicated to a member of my family who was many miles away that there was something wrong with me and I needed help. As a result, another family member came to find me and woke me up, arranging for me to be taken to hospital. It was to be almost three months before I heard from Komar again. So depleted was his own energy from this selfless act of love, that he himself had gone away to regenerate.A new life began for me that day, one founded on spiritual awareness and a fervent desire to grow spiritually. A cornerstone of my life remains the Learnings that Komar brings – the kernels of wisdom that he bids me nurture into living plants of luxuriant foliage through the use of language that is more mine than his.I commend to you the “Many Learnings” that Komar brings, with the fervent wish that they will edify you and lead you towards the light that is the end of all journeys. For it seems to me that I have no serious option but to bring them to you. Quite simply, I have to touch your soul.