Investor’s Rap

Well people are saying I’m past my primeCos I put all my money down on sub primePyramid selling is real sublimeSo don’t counsel caution cos you’re wastin’ my time!Well I wouldn’t say that I’m too trustin’but the gold coins you sold me, well they’re all rustin.’Blue Horseshoe loves BitcoinAnd Maddoff let me joinAn’ cool cats never stealcos all we do is pur-loin. Meowwwwww!I’ll give you my dollars for all of your roublesAnd make them double in the South Sea Bubble.But I shorted Google and now I’m in troubleCos the man who sold me, well he’s long gone -said this Internet thing would never catch on.I’m a Ponzi investor right down to my sockssince I gave you the key to all my locks.I’m long on hope but short on sense.When you need a decision I’ll be on the fence.I’ve bought carbon credits and fine wine debitsI’m a real big sucker for farming rabbits.I bought all the echoes in the Plymouth Sound,got certificate value for my gold underground.Bought a shrewd investment from a timeshare toutand an empty can from a larger lout.Today I’m like the cat with the cream -Cos I put big bucks in that new ‘graphene’The time I can tell you I feel most aliveIs sitting at the wheel of my Sinclair C5.An’ I set up trust funds for both my sonswhen I cornered the market in ZX81s.I reckon I’ll be retiring sooncos I bought a thousand acres on the far side of the moon.And any day now I’ll head for the skiescos a hundred thousand dollars says the Virgin rocket flies.So you just remember that I’m the blokeThat can promise you he’ll never go brokeYou want a small fortune? Then this is the key:Start with a big one and invest like me!Michael Foresterwww.michaelforester.co.uk